


we have not touched the stars

by CriedHavoc



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Horcruxes, M/M, Mevolent's War, Not Beta Read, tbh the relationships are background not really the main point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 07:58:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CriedHavoc/pseuds/CriedHavoc
Summary: Skulduggery Pleasant attends Hogwarts. A war looms just over the horizon.A Harry Potter rewrite of the war against Mevolent.





	we have not touched the stars

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I need you to know that this was written in one night, and has not been proof read. Literally, I started this like... five, six hours ago. But I have no impulse control, and here we are.
> 
> Second, this is my first fic in a few years. I may be a little rusty.
> 
> Third, in case it's not clear in the fic, Hopeless is a metamorphmagus. This is based off the description of him as "a man of one name and many faces". 
> 
> ALSO, IMPORTANT: I have screwed around with both Skulduggery Pleasant and Harry Potter details/timelines/magic to suit this AU. Not drastically. But I thought I'd warn you.
> 
> Title comes from an excerpt of a Richard Siken poem which sorta inspired the overall idea of this story. In a twisted sorta way. More relevant to the planned sequel, anyway.  
> “We have not touched the stars,  
> nor are we forgiven, which brings us back  
> to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes,  
> not from the absence of violence, but despite  
> the abundance of it.”

At age 11, Skulduggery Pleasant is visited by a kind man named Corrival Deuce, who introduces himself as the Headmaster at a school called Hogwarts, and explains to him why he’s different from the other children in his small Irish village.

“M-m-magic?” Skulduggery asks, frowning through his mop of red hair.

“Magic,” Corrival agrees. “And if you want, I can offer you a chance to learn how to control it.”

A week later, the Sorting Hat is placed on Skulduggery’s head, and not three seconds later it bellows, “ _SLYTHERIN_.”

 

* * *

 

By the end of the first year, Skulduggery is the top of most of his classes.

By the end of second year, his stutter is gone. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Skulduggery is in the Gryffindor common room, _again_.

“Skulduggery,” Dexter says as he approaches his friend. “I know you love us, but you do have a common room of your own.”

Skulduggery doesn’t even look up from the book he’s reading. He’s sprawled on an airchair - the _best_ airchair, directly in front of the fire, and Dexter notices a few glares from his housemates - with his legs thrown over the armrest. “It’s too cold in there,” he says eventually, turning a page. “And they annoy me.”

“ _You’re_ annoying _us_ ,” Dexter points out, but takes the seat next to him.

“Nonsense,” Skulduggery says, finally looking up. “I’m a delight. Everyone says so.”

“That’s not what they say,” Saracen calls from the bottom of the stairs leading to the dormitory, where he has emerged with Ghastly. “And you know it.”

Skulduggery waves a hand, and grins. “Oh well. It’s not their fault they’re stupid. They’ve had five years to see the light, it’s probably too late now.”

The portrait swings open and Anton and Larrikin step in, accompanied by Erskine and an unfamiliar Gryffindor.

“Hopeless,” Dexter calls. “Put your normal face on.”

The student's face slides back to its original state, and Hopeless just shrugs as he joins his friends. “I was avoiding a detention,” he tells them. “Bisahalani is out to get me, I swear.”

“Maybe you and Larrikin shouldn’t have put dung bombs in his office,” Anton suggests.

“But how would I have fun?”

“Did you really think he wouldn’t have noticed a Gryffindor he didn’t recognise wandering around?” Saracen asks. “You could have at least taken off your uniform, make it harder for him.”

“But alas, I didn’t think of that.”

“Where’s Ghastly?” Skulduggery asks, ignoring them. “He said he’d be here to mend my robes.”

“There are spells for that,” Erskine says, rolling his eyes.

Skulduggery pins him with a horrified glare. “A spell? You really think a _spell_ is as good as Ghastly?”

As though called, Ghastly emerges from the dormitories with his sewing kit. Wordlessly, Skulduggery shrugs off his robe and hands it to him.

“Remember the squid?” Skulduggery says, an innocent look on his face.

Ghastly scowls, but takes the robe. “You can’t lord that over me every time you rip something.”

“I saved your _life_.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Can we not get into this again?” Anton pleads.

Skulduggery shrugs, and returns to his book. "I did save his life," he mutters.

 

* * *

 

In their sixth year, rumours begin to spread of an oncoming war with a dark wizard called Mevolent.

The newspapers don’t report on it, other than mentioning a handful of seemingly unrelated disappearances (Muggle studies experts, Muggleborns, certain legislators, the pattern was there, obvious, but nobody wanted to see it). Skulduggery watches as Headmaster Deuce starts to look more and more weary, as he starts disappearing for days on end.

 

* * *

 

“So what do you think?” Larrikin asks one evening as they sit by the lake. “Do you think there’s really going to be a war?”

“I don’t know,” says Ghastly.

“Maybe,” says Erskine.

“It looks that way,” says Anton.

“Definitely,” says Skulduggery. They all look at him. “What?”

“Do you really believe there’s going to be a war?” Dexter asks. “That’s awfully pessimistic of you.”

Skulduggery looks thoughtful. “I think there’s already a war, and they’re just not telling us.”

“I agree,” says Saracen.

“Why?” Ghastly asks, frowning.

“Because I know things.”

They collectively roll their eyes.

“Say you’re right…”

“I usually am.”

“ _Say you’re right_ ,” Hopeless says again. He flicks his hair out of his eyes. It’s blonde today. “What will we do?”

They all trade glances. None of them speak.

Eventually Skulduggery breaks the silence. “We fight.”

 

* * *

 

In his seventh year, Skulduggery dates China Sorrows, and his friends watch on in horrified fascination.

“Wasn’t he just saying the other day how much he hated every Slytherin beside himself?” Anton asks as they all watch Skulduggery, for once sitting at the Slytherin table, at breakfast. He is holding China’s hand and whispering into the (rumoured part-Veela, though her Pureblooded family would deny it) girl’s ear.

“He was,” Ghastly says, taking a bite of his eggs. “And he was also saying how half of them will probably be on Mevolent’s side, should war fully break out.”

“Then why is he all cosy with the granddaughter of one of the biggest blood purists in the country?” Dexter wonders.

Skulduggery looks up, sees his audience, and his back straightens. He leans away from China.

She follows his gaze, and smirks.

 

* * *

 

Skulduggery doesn’t talk about China. They would have almost believed he wasn’t seeing her, if it weren’t for the occasional unexplained absence or obviously-deliberate lipstick stain on his collar.

The impending war hangs over Hogwarts like a dark cloud.

They start practising duelling in their spare time.

 

* * *

 

China takes Skulduggery’s hand and pulls him towards the Forbidden Forest. He lets himself get let through the increasingly thick trees.

When China stops, in a small clearing, she kisses him.

“Is there a reason we’re here and not, say, anywhere else?” Skulduggery asks as she winds her hands around his waist.

“No reason,” China says sweetly. “I just wanted some privacy.”

“And a broom cupboard isn’t good enough for you?”

She looks offended. “Do I look like the kind of woman who spends any amount of time in broom cupboards?”

“You don’t look like the kind of woman who spends any time in forests, either,” he says, and she smiles that dangerous smile.

“Ah, Skulduggery, you know me too well.” She steps back and straightens her skirt, suddenly all business. “I wanted to talk to you about the war, away from prying eyes.”

He tilts his head. “And what war may that be, my dear?”

“Don’t play coy. You know that soon, our world is going to be divided. We’re going to have to pick sides.”

Skulduggery leans against a tree, hands in pockets, the picture of ease. “Oh? And which side will you be choosing?” He pretends he doesn’t already know the answer.

That smile again. “The winning one,” China tells him. “And I want you to join me.”

He kisses her then, and he knows she thinks she's won.

But after a moment he pulls back, shakes his head. “You and I have very different definitions of winning,” he says, and walks away.

 

* * *

 

On the day of their graduation from Hogwarts, Corrival approaches Skulduggery and his friends and asks them to join the Order of the Phoenix.

They all agree. They’re young, talented men, and they’re presented a cause, a chance to prove themselves. Of course they agree.

(Skulduggery kisses China goodbye before he leaves the grounds for the last time.

“This is your last chance to do the right thing,” he tells her.

She cups his face with a delicate hand. “I’m going the right thing for me, my dear.”)

 

* * *

 

A month later, the Daily Prophet prints the headline: _Mevolent Declares War_

 

* * *

 

Corrival stands in front of the Order and says, “I need volunteers, but before you agree, this mission is extremely dangerous, and there is a chance you may not make it back alive.”

Skulduggery’s hand is raised immediately. Ghastly’s follows. Then, slowly, Dexter, Larrikin, Hopeless, Erskine, and Anton join them. Saracen later claims that he wasn’t volunteering, he was yawning, but when he sees the look the others give him, he shuts up.

They’re young, a little too bold, a little too brash, and they pretend to not hear their fellow Order members whispering, “Dead men.”

(“What’s the plan?” Ghastly asks as soon as the meeting is over.

Skulduggery tilts his head. “Who said I had a plan?”

“We’re all going to die,” Saracen declares.)

 

* * *

 

They all return alive. People start calling them dead men to their faces.

The name sticks.

 

* * *

 

A year later, a new round of Hogwarts graduates join the Order, and this is how Skulduggery meets Meabh.

She’s beautiful, brave, and they bond over a love of hexes.

In a perfect world, their romance would have been long and sweet.

(“When this is over,” he tells her one night. “I’ll take you dancing.”

“Can you dance?” she asks with a laugh.

“No, but I’m sure I’ll be brilliant.”

Meabh runs a hand through his hair. “And if not, I’m good enough for the both of us.”)

But this was wartime, and when you see a chance of happiness, you take it and don’t let go.

Only six months later, in between missions, they marry in a small, impromptu ceremony held at Corrival’s mansion, with most of the Order present. The Dead Men will say later that the happiest they ever saw Skulduggery was when Meabh grabbed his hand and dragged him to their first dance as husband and wife.

This changes, however, less than a year later, when she gives birth to Alanna, and Skulduggery holds his daughter to his chest with such fierce protectiveness that is was joked that he might never let go.

 

* * *

 

Things carry on that way, for a while. Skulduggery joins the Dead Men on missions, and spends every moment of his spare time with Meabh and Alanna.

Order members fawn over them, the beautiful young couple who had found love in the horror of war. Alanna is seen as a symbol of hope, a representation of what they were fighting to preserve. She takes her first steps during an Order meeting. She says her first word while being babysat by Dexter and Saracen.

(“We need to tell them. Where’s your owl?!”

“They’re on a _mission_ , Dexter.”

“Their baby just said _wand_!”)

 

* * *

 

There is hope, but there is also loss.

The Dead Men turn from boys to men, hardened by violence and grief.

And then, suddenly, it starts to look like they might actually win the war. 

 

* * *

 

Then Meabh and Alanna disappear.

Skulduggery finds them - sees them tied at Nefarian Serpine’s feet - and watches them die.

When Alanna’s crying cuts off in a blast of green light, something changes in Skulduggery forever.

He lost his wand fighting his way in, so he reaches for a discard wand beside him.

He realises his mistake too late.

 

* * *

 

(At the last second, he turns to one of Serpine’s lackeys and calmly says,  _avada kedavra_ , and splinters off a piece of his soul.)

 

* * *

 

A week later, the wizarding world falls silent as they read the latest headline from the Daily Prophet.

Ghastly’s face is grim when he delivers the news.

(“Skulduggery,” he says, then stops, has to breathe.

“He’s back?” Anton asks, urgent.

“No.”)

_Mevolent Boasts, Pleasant and Family Dead_

There's a picture underneath. The flames move silently in black and white.

That night, the Dead Men toast their friend, and each of them pretends that they don't see the image of Skulduggery’s charred remains when they close their eyes.

 

* * *

 

The Order mourns the Pleasant family quietly, then gets back to work. But morale is weakened. The tides shift. They are losing.

 

* * *

 

Skulduggery wakes up a bag of bones.

His last minute effort to save his own life worked, but in a warped and twisted way he does not quite understand.

He finds that he doesn't quite care.

Finds that he can only focus on one thing.

The rage burns cold in his chest.

 

* * *

 

When he shows up at Order headquarters, he’s attacked by Anton and Erskine.

(“Is that a fucking skeleton?” Erskine gasps, sending a hex flying. "Another of Mevolent's experiments?")

They don’t stop until he’s close enough for them to hear his voice.

(Anton’s infamous composure slips. He grabs onto Erskine’s shoulder, looks weak. They look at each other.

The skeleton approaches, hands in the air. They know that voice. They know that walk.)

 

* * *

 

It’s not a joyous reunion, by any means.

People are scared of him. His friends greet him happily, but when they think he's not looking they stare in horror.

But Corrival sends him back to the field, because there’s a new anger and purpose in Skulduggery, and they can use it.

 

* * *

 

Even in death, Skulduggery is a marvel to fight with.

Especially in death.

He no longer hesitates. He no longer gives his opponents a chance to plea.

He stops thinking before using Unforgivables.

(“I didn’t think it would be this bad,” Larrikin says one day.

“He watched his _family_ die in front of him. _He_ died.”

“And now he’s back.”

“Is he?”)

 

* * *

 

As suddenly as he returns, Skulduggery disappears.

(Abyssinia hands him the robes.

“You’re so angry,” she says. “Let me help you.”)

A strange new enemy emerges, a powerful dark wizard, and calls himself Vile.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was going for Skulduggery and wife to resemble Lily and James Potter, but obviously instead of the child living, Skulduggery comes back.
> 
> If you spotted any typos/grammar/spelling errors, PLEASE let me know. There's bound to be a couple.
> 
> Oh, and some of the tags get relevant in part two.


End file.
